Valentines is on the way DON’T SCREAM!

Great love and relationships are not built on special occasion flowers, chocolates and great sex alone. 

Sure those things don’t go amiss… however if you are delivering as a special occasion band aid’s that you hope will put you in favor, you should know they are more likely to put you in the dog house.

Did you know: Research shows that many long term relationship come to a crashing halt on Valentines day.  The words may or may not be spoken on that day however, the wheels of the emotional divorce have already began to roll into motion.

In a recent survey more than 80% of the men whose wives asked for a divorce say; they are totally shocked,

they had NO IDEA…

These guys were happy in the same marriage their wife wanted out of!

 

What does that mean?  Maybe someones not speaking clearly enough, and maybe someones not listening well enough?

Whether we are aware of it or not, we all have a deep and natural craving to feel special to someone else.   Someone who sees us in ways that we wish we could see ourselves.

Very often that’s a big part of why we fall in love…they made you see yourself beyond the limited framework you had held of yourself,  and for that time you began to allow yourself to feel the truth of it.

Whether you are alone or coupled at Valentines, it won’t matter if you don’t have a healthy model for recognizing what you want when it shows up and the skills and tools to keep it…

Below is a video gift I have set up for you, because if you really want your relationship to go to the next level of depth and connection I would highly suggest that you take a look  at applying:

 

“The 5 Foundations of Building Healthy, Loving Relationships”

Enjoy and please feel free to share this with your friends and leave your feedback.

Happy Valentines:

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It’s easy to tell yourself that the emotional upheavals in your life are “all in the past”, yet the question remains: Are they really?

When you stop and think about it much of our daily experiences are nothing than the same past experiences playing out in a new senerio.

What we don’t look at actually controls us; Because it becomes the undercurrent of our personality. Just because “it” is in your past on a time line doesn’t mean that you have actually let “it” go. Here’s a quick exercise.

Think about the last time someone cut you off in traffic, or some other equally frustrating behaviour.

If you remember that you got way beyond mad … and into the range of pure outrage, that’s called a ‘disproportionate response.’

Simply put, it means that from an onlookers standpoint the incident might have rated a ‘3’ on an anger response scale; however, your reaction was more like a 6 or more.

And if you can’t remember a traffic incident, think of another time where you’ve become incredibly angry at the drop of a hat. (Even if, because you have become masterfull at stuffing it no one else would know).

Anytime that happens, it’s a reliable indicator that there’s other ‘stuff’ that you’re upset about. Being outraged at this driver is just a safe place to express what you don’t feel safe expressing in another situation.

Bottom line: If you are having disproportionate responses, your past is not in the past at all and until you deal with “it”, it’s running your life!

What we refuse to acknowledge about ourselves becomes the driving force for a destiny we may not desire.

Try this: Watch for disproportionate responses and ask yourself: “What might I be angry about that actually has nothing to do with this situation?”

There is magnificence within you… Who you are is so much greater than your history. However, until you look at your history you are destined to repeat it in one form or another.

Leave me your feedback, I want to know what you think.

In Gratitude, Dov…

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