At one time or another we have all feared love, bolting the door and refusing to let it in.

There have been times when we have craved love and when a thin malnourished version of its self sneaks in through the back door we hold on too tight.

Fearing love and craving love are two sides of the same coin…

Both can have us holding on to someone or something, so desperately that we squeeze all the life out of it.

When you learn to love yourself you will embrace love, even knowing that its encounter may wound you. For love its self cannot wound, only the illusion of love paid for with currency of self respect leaves us wounded and emotionally bankrupt. From this bankruptcy of the heart many try to quit, swearing off love, rather than, swearing off the illusions placed upon it.

There are also those who have been wounded and they learn, they know these are not the wounds of the weak; these are the wounds that empower us to return to a deeper place of love. For the potion with which we bathe and heal the wounds of loves encounters is a rich distillation of self and mutual respect.

Only by learning to love yourself can you truly recognize love when it arrives at your door. However without knowing and embracing self respect, true love will remain hidden from you as the greatest mystery of life.

To know love, we must take a chance at love. Love is the baptism that has and that can if we let it, cleanse the heart, soul and mind of all its illusions. However, what the mind and body combined call love can also be the author of illusion.

To truly know the depth of this life we must be willing to engage in the adventure of a lifetime, knowing that love has the power to crush us under foot and at the same time raise us on the wings of angels to the heights we could have only dreamed.

Love is the rain that falls on the dry seed of our soul;

it fertilizes and nourishes that which has lain dormant in the desert of fear. Through love we learn to question our limitations so as to express our soul’s purpose.

To truly love we must rid ourselves of the fears that keep us silent and lazy.

We must never settle for a mere sent or flavour of love, we must not settle for the idea of love. For the true heart, the true soul has both patience and courage, for they know love is the holy grail we all seek, if only secretly.

So have patience because waiting for love gives you the time to earn the gift of true self love without which you would never know that depth that is a soul love shared.

To find, recognize and embrace your beloved you must become the beloved.

To become the beloved you must be able to be-loved.  So let love in through the front door, by first remembering that you are a gift from God whose worthiness of love is inherent, for at your essence, love is what you are.

Live and love with courage, Dov…

I look forward to your feedback

Popularity: 4% [?]

  • Thanks Dov. That truly is a very thought provoking post to say the least.

    I think I will revisit parts of this blog posting many times as there is so much in it of value that cannot expect to gain these gifts deeply enough the first few times.


    "Returning to a deeper place of love"

    That I intend to explore further

    Not surprised it can hit some nerves...
  • Dov Baron
    Hello Bruno,
    Well my friend it seems we hit a nerve? And I have to say that I agree with your sentiments at least in reference to how we are supposed to know how to love ourselves. You’re right, if a person has never had a healthy model for love, loving ones self can seem quite ridiculous.

    May I suggest that if you don't have a model for loving yourself you instead look at the elements of love you can comprehend? EG: Gratitude. What in your life could you be grateful for? It doesn't have to be anything grand; it could be as simple as walking or breathing without assistance.

    Let me share something that I think you really want to know. Most people didn't have a healthy model for love, a very large amount of us went through some kind of abusive situations and often on a regular basis. Although this is both outrageous and sad, it is what it is.

    What I would suggest to you is that those who recover are those who discover the one true element of healthy self love: Self Respect. What is it about you that truly deserves respect? And more importantly how can you show higher and higher levels of self respect to yourself?

    Just because "they" say you weren't wanted doesn't mean you are without value. In fact many of the people who made a massive difference in the world started their lives out being dropped off on other people’s doorsteps.

    I agree that it seems a strange world where we must have a license for an animal, we are free to bring children into the world without any such thing including basic training.

    What I can tell you is despite what you think, love exists even for the “unlovable” and what's more there are those who love you if you will just allow yourself to see it and feel it.

    With sincere compassion I challenge you to live with the courage to love, Dov...
  • Love yourself as your very own soul mate, what a wonderful ideal.

    When I team that idea with the idea that everything we ever need already resides within us, I realise the perfection of both thoughts.

    AnamCara is the old Celtic way of saying such a thing as soul mate )Anam (Soul) Cara (Friend) - I have named my property this as it will sustain me and me it.

    Thank you so much for this post, it reminds me to treat myself well, love myself and in doing so allow myself to love and be loved.
  • yet more guilt.
    "oh you have to love yourself first"
    well all *I* was ever taught never taught me any "love" of any kind
    how do you BE what you cannot even COMPREHEND? and that nobody will show you or teach you.
    I was punished to be BORN here
    punished to grow up here
    punished to try to share anything good
    and punished if i speak in honesty
    where is there "love" in any of that?

    so all i get is MORE guilt to sit here MORE unwanted and unknowing since all there is is this big HUGE guilt trip of you "have to love yourself first before anyone else will" and I cannot even comprehend what any of you want of me

    how do you "do" something you have no idea what it is???

    why dont they make LAWS so parents have to HAVE PARENT and HUMAN skills to be allowed to have kids instead of letting people with no clue have people born to them that end up only SUFFERING their entire lives then, for given no clue what to do in society, all there*IS* is to fall...and flal further....and fall More and fall HARDER

    there is no "LOVE" since it wasnt taught all there was was pain and agony taught
    so how do you turn that into love when you cannot evne comprehend it???

    just sickens me how everyone is so full of "answers" to things without even seeing the reality of life
  • Mare Bennett
    "To become the beloved you must be able to be-loved. So let love in through the front door, by first remembering that you are a gift from God whose worthiness of love is inherent, for at your essence, love is what you are."


    There ya go.
    A world of falling and rising in those words. Took a lifetime to get here.

    Thanks.
  • Dov Baron
    Amanda, Viera, Zoe, Sharon, Tracy, Claire, Hembala,
    My thanks to you and everyone else here for your kind word. I am delighted to know that what I share makes a dfference.

    With sincere Gratitude, Dov...

    P.S. Hembala, I spent a good amount of time studying the Vedanta with one of my mentors.
  • amanda
    Dearest Dov
    Thank you so very much for sharing your emotional and intellectual intelligence! Your words land on pages like breaths of fresh air. I sincerely wish you and your beloved a joyously beautiful Valentines Day! (and that's every day of course!!!).
  • viera
    Dear Dov, now you really got me! I was convinced, that I'm better off on my own, then to be married again. But I have to think about it now. You are right, it can be wery scary, and I have to admit, that I'm terrified, but at the same time dream about my life with my soulmate.
  • Zoe
    perfectly put.... muchos gracious Dov .
    I can honestly say now that I am finally open to another entering into my life. I am not looking but am open to it. I have spend my whole life working on myself, have been single for 5 years now (happily single I might add), still am. But I most certainly look forward to the moment when I meet the one for me. I can finally say, honestly too, that I LOVE myself unconditionally and forgive myself for anything and everything. This being said, just because I love myself doesn't mean I would marry myself... not sure if this is even legal... hell gay marriage is still illegal in a lot of places... hahah... what would they think if I wanted to marry myself... I mean come one, this goes beyond incest! LOL. I didn't even think I wanted to get married but I just realized (slapping my forehead) that I would love to marry myself... what a lovely union that would be =).

    the love I have for my self resonates to all those around me.
    I deeply wish that everyone can find it in their heart to forgive themselves too and to love themselves, to take care of themselves. It seems soo simple, but as we all know simple = complex, complex=simple...... sometimes the most obvious thing in the world... the thing that is hiding under our noses can also be hidden from our self..... only lost until it is found.
    but I must remember too, that just because I wander, does not make me lost.
    just because I'm going out, doesn't mean I know where that is... all I know is that I am eating, breathing, laughing, seeing, smelling, hearing, tasting, and feeling my truth.... my lovely truth.

    I am walking and talking my truth too.... and I am standing up for my rights (and lefts), for the rights (and lefts) of others.

    "we are the ones we were waiting for"
    "BE the change you want to see in the world"
    "live the life you love, love the life you life"




    Rainbow sparkles all around.
    love, light, laughter and abundance
    =)
  • Doreen
    LOVE


    Always from the day we are born, in search of Love. Never looking where true Love is to be found.
    Always looking to others for that which only I could give to myself.
    Putting expectations on others and them never ever able to live up to them.
    Giving my Love away, self sacrificing over and over and over again in hope that they would return what was given.

    Yet that never happens they just keep taking and I just keep giving. Getting stuck in a pattern an illusion that seems to go on and on and on. Until the darkness gets so dark and there is nothing left to give because my heart is frozen. And my Love is frozen within my own heart.

    No longer is my Love flowing. Frozen. A big block of ice and my Soul so angry. Erupting with anger. And my mind in complete confusion, chaos. And my body felt like it was carrying 1,000 pounds of extra weight.

    Everything inside in complete disarray. Screaming on the inside for help. And somewhere in the darkness a hand is extended forth. And a voice louder, yet softer than all the rest, speaking with authority. Calling. Come, Come, Come. For Love never, ever dies. So desperate to be recognized.
    Coming back alive. Getting stronger with every step I take. Love. The Love of who It is I am. So full of Light. Showing me the Way. Choosing to Love myself. Choosing its self Love over and over and over again.

    Sitting in this energy, this pure, innocent energy of Love. Sinking deep within. Submerging myself in Love. The Love of who It is I am. So attracted am I to It's calling. So patient am I to It's teachings.
    For Love, True Love is what I am after, and By God I will receive It. I am certain I will. For I will Love again and again and again.
    Who am I?
    What am I?
    Where am I?
    Why am I?
    When am I?

    without the recognition of the presence of Love. I am, Oh yes, I am Love. It goes on and on and on......
  • Sharon
    I wasn't sure what this affiliation might bring, but this post was so timely for me today. Thanks
  • Tracy
    Dov -GREAT work again!!! So many people forget about this and focus on "what if "or "what will people say/do/think" way too much. Even when you do find someone where it all just falls into place, there is no guarantee that all the illusions won't get in the way again and all you have left is memories and YOURSELF. I happen to be quite happy with myself when I am not with my "other" be it a few minutes or a few years. I wish that precious gift for everyone. It is indeed the Holy Grail we all seek!!!
  • Claire
    Thanks Dov! Truly inspiring as usual,I am one of those people...terribly afraid of love! Not from friends or my children,just from men! I have been divorced now for three years,my husband was physically and mentally abusive.My older children,think I still look good for a woman of 50 and I should be dating...I think about it,but can't get past my trust issues.Thanks again.
blog comments powered by Disqus