Can We Honestly Judge the Judge?

President Obama nominated federal Appeals Court Judge, Sonia Sotomayor, to the U.S. Supreme Court, citing her “inspiring life story” and “distinguished career” in his decision.   Judge Sotomayor, 54, is now confirmed as the first Hispanic on the high court.  Congratulations to her. However, her ethnicity or anything else seems to me to be beside the point.

Whether we personally think she is right for the job or not, clearly this woman seems to know her stuff:  In 1997 Bill Clinton nominated Sonia Sotomayor for the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit.  George H. W. Bush nominated her as a federal judge in 1991, a position that made Sotomayor the youngest judge in the Southern District of New York.

In the long and drawn out senate hearings, it seems like most of the controversy as to whether Judge Sotomayor was fit for the position was due to the fact that during a speech at the University of California at Berkeley, she said:

“I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life.”

Think about it: We tell ourselves not to judge, yet evaluation is a basic survival process.

To think that we can see things without the influence of our experience is nothing more than a ‘new age’ fantasy.

However, we can choose to evaluate each given moment on an individual basis.  Nonetheless, what we choose to see or do will be judged by others, (especially those who claim to be nonjudgmental) as judgmental.

To be clear:  I understand that the law is the law. I get that, or at least I would, if it were true… We are all aware of the high-powered individuals who have walked away from prosecution with little more than a slap on the wrist in comparison to the man or woman on the street who would have, for the same crime, ended up bunking with hardcore criminals.

Again, I understand that the senate wants to make sure a high court judge is without bias.  However, that is not and cannot be possible.

You see, we human beings, no matter how educated and objective we like to think we are, have a mind that records everything we experience. We have whatever experiences we have, and the ‘ego-mind’ then creates a set of filters, (beliefs) based on that experience and all too often the ego-mind will then distort all incoming information so that you see life as a reflection of that belief.

What I’m saying here is that yes, even judges ‘judge’ based on their experience, and although they must be guided and directed by the law, to expect even a high court judge to create a ‘personal experiential amnesia’ is ludicrous.  No mater what her ethnicity or life experience…  I’m not here to judge the judge, although I know I am like all the rest of us…judgmental.

If you want to understand more of how the ego-mind is filtering and possibly limiting your reality, you can get a hold of my new book: “Don’t Read This…Your Ego Won’t Like It” at http://www.dovbaron.com/product

I look forward to your comments and feedback.

Until next time, live with courage, Dov…

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A rich, fulfilling life cannot be attained by those who are willing to accept the Mediocre.

‘True  Success’ belongs to those who are willing to do what others can not do, or will not do. Take note; there will always be those who will tell you to take the path of least resistance.

What they don’t tell you is…

The path of least resistance is filled with the corpses of the mediocre.

To become free we must overcome the obstacles that are set before us.

Telling yourself and anyone else who will listen how tough it is, does nothing but validate that it’s okay to quit on yourself.

Those who do not have the courage to stand up for who they really are and what they really want die having lived lives that are, at best, half lived and all too often sadly forgotten.  These are the forgotten lives of the mediocre, whose fear of offending others has ruled them like a fierce dictator that banishes freedom as if it was a plague.

All courage is subjective; remember, what’s easy for one person is not necessarily easy for another. So give yourself the recognition for what you have already done while at the same time turn your back on complacency.

Celebrating your success is an excellent thing to do; however, staying at the celebration is like still wearing your Christmas hat in February; it gets a little stale.

So, stop looking for people to complain to; yes it’s hard sometimes… So what!

Do what you need to do, do what’s in front of you, and stop waiting for it to get better, change or anything other than what it is!

I look forward to hearing your feedback.

Until next time live with courage, Dov…

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Don’t you just wish you were lucky? You know, just like the person who things just seem to fall in place for them?

I want to share with you the secret to becoming lucky.  But first, I like to think I have a good grasp on who my readers are, and so with your permission, I would like to ask you a couple of questions, if that’s okay with you.

 

Let me start here:  How many times have you been told, in one form or another, that someone has some kind of magical solution to your problem?  You know what, you don’t need to answer that; the truth is it’s probably more often than you can count with infomercials, commercials, web pages, and goodness knows what else.

 

Over time, we’ve all been bombarded with magical solutions:  Everything from something that will cook your chicken in record time, slice a can and your tomatoes without even dulling your blade,  magic weight loss pills, instant hair for your bald spot, instant hair removal for your hairy spots, penis enlargers, breast enlargers, tummy tuckers, butt lifters, blenders that do everything but clean your bathroom floor, and a myriad of other miracles for just three easy payments of… The problem is that even if something is of genuine value, most people have been so soured by the smooth talking commercials that we can’t recognize true value anymore.

The question is this:  Is there something you can trust to actually deliver what you want? The answer is YES! However, don’t panic, I am not going to sell it to you, and in fact, neither can anyone else.

My guess is that if you are reading this, (which of course you are), you have at one time or another felt a bit ripped off by someone’s magical promises and as a result you are smart enough to have done your research and analysis of what’s being offered to see if it is going to truly be of genuine assistance, right?

 

My guess is that the reason you even purchased some of the things is because you had a problem and you wanted a solution.  Simple, right? I would guess that you pride yourself on being open-minded. You’re likely someone who feels they have at the very least a fundamental understanding of the way life works and you now understand that it’s your time to step up, make things happen, and as a result others likely look to you as a leader. Again, am I right?  If I’m at least somewhat on target, then there’s a good chance that you are committed to making a difference not only in your life, but also in the lives of others.  Again, if I’m at least somewhat right, please read on.  If not, you can go read something else and I promise to take no offense.

  

Now let’s get back to the thing you can trust to actually deliver what you want…even though I already told you that I can’t sell it to you, it does have a price, in fact there are three accumulative prices and for many these prices will just be too high.

Let me give you a clue to what it is:  Here’s a riddle for you:

What’s the one thing you can allow to be stolen from you and never be able to get back?

TIME!

Time is one of the prices you will have to pay, it’s not the only price, but it’s the first one.  To get what you want in life, whether you’re using magical weight loss pills or anything else, it all takes a certain amount of time.  To get what you want in life, each day you will have to dedicate some time to getting ‘it.’

The second price you must pay is one of an emotional investment.  Simply going through the motions is not enough! You must do what you need to do to get where you want to get and you must do it with absolute PASSION!

The place where this can get tough is there will be days when you feel like the results will never happen and on those days you must find the way to apply even more passion.

  

The third price you will need to pay is the one so very few are willing to invest and that is the price of:

‘Action in the Face of Ridicule.’

‘They’ will ridicule you; they will say you are crazy; they will laugh at you for putting in the time and doing so with passion.  And worst of all, ‘they’ will likely be the people who ‘love’ you.

Why will they do that?  Well, there are many reasons that I don’t have space to deal with right here, but what I can tell you right off the bat is they will ridicule you because they too have been sold the idea of magical thinking, where everything appears supposedly without any effort and if it doesn’t, it’s just not worth it.

 

Know this, while you are driving to your dreams there will be times particularly at the beginning where they and maybe even you cannot see the results you are looking for. However, if you are truly on your path and you are paying the price, you will know that what they are looking to see and cannot yet see in the outer world is already 100% real in your inner world and it’s just a matter of ‘time’ before it shows up in your outer reality.

  

But, beware!  As they sit there holding on to their mediocrity and minimizing everything you do and telling you to stop dreaming, when what it is that you have been investing in with your time, emotional energy, and your willingness to face disapproval does show up, they will call you ‘lucky.’

They will not understand and neither should you try to convince them for…

The dreamer cannot explain the process of dreaming to one who refuses to dream.

You can describe swimming to someone who has never swam but that’s not the same as diving in, feeling the rush of the water against your skin, hearing the sound of your own body submerge into the muffled silence as the taste of the ocean washes across your taste buds.  There is no explaining to those who are not willing to experience.

On your journey away from the town of mediocrity to the top of Dream Mountain, there will be things that become dead weight that you can no longer carry. Endless hours of watching TV, gossiping about celebrities you actually know nothing of any substance about, eating rather than dealing with emotions, and as you will discover for yourself, a myriad of other things will just fall away.

 

When you start achieving what you want in life they will say; “you’ve changed” and you may be tempted to say; “No, I haven’t.”  Please don’t do that to yourself!  Say “YES I have, and thank you for noticing.” The fact is, you are changing and change is a natural part of being on the planet and those who complain that you’ve changed are clearly trying to hang on to some glory days gone by.  Maybe a memory of being the hottest kid in school, 10, 20, or however many years ago or maybe some other past glory.

 

The path to fulfilling your dreams is not for the weak.

 

The path to your dreams is in fact the hero’s journey and it can be a lonely one unless you seek out fellow travelers. Fellow seekers who have also invested their time, their passion and they too have been ridiculed for being a dreamer. Those who walk this path successfully find fellow travelers to support their journey.

 

Look, here’s what I found: When you invest the three things I’ve outlined here: Time, Energy, and the Willingness to Face Ridicule, it will appear that you get ‘lucky’, that things appear to happen magically for you.

  

What you will know is the truth: You got “lucky” because you did what it took.

I look forward to your feedback and comments.

Until next time; live with courage, Dov… 

 

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Who was Michael Jackson?

Was he a genius singer, songwriter, and dancer?  Or was he just Wacko Jacko?  Maybe he was a deeply loving father who was also possibly a child molester?

Let me be clear, I did not personally know Michael Jackson. I never met the man and my opinion of who the man was  is only as informed as all the other people out there with an opinion. Let’s face it, opinions are like noses; almost everyone has one.  It is for this very reason that I’ve decided to write this article.

What I will say is this; I refuse to see Michael Jackson through a single lens.  A lens given to me by a bias media feeding frenzy who just a few years ago tortured Michael with a complete lack of privacy, judging his every action as that of someone who was “wacko”. The same media today deify the man with 24-hour news coverage.

Was Michael Jackson a Master, a Monster, or simply a Man who we saw through a distorted lens?

The simple truth is that, I like you, during my life,  have suffered the cruelty of those who were only willing to see me through a single perception of who I am.  Over the years I have worked with many people who have battled to be seen as more than fat, thin, ugly, too pretty, too smart, too dumb, too young, too old, or some other limiting idea . Each one of these people, just like you, was far more than the labels put upon them.

While walking down a busy street with a friend of mine chatting and laughing,  I suddenly noticed someone I knew approaching us. This person seemed to recognize both my friend and me.  The person approaching nodded a cool hello and carried on.  I thought little of the event until two days later when I was on my own and bumped into the same person who had given us the cool nod.  This person walked up to me and said:

“How can you be friends with Joe, (alias for my friend), he is such an ass?”

My answer was simple: “I have no idea who you are talking about.” This guy said; “yes you do, I saw you with Joe the other day.”  I reiterated: “I have no idea who you are talking about. Yes you saw me with Joe but I have no idea who the ass is you are referring to.”  This guy then seemed to feel it was his duty to fill me in on all Joe’s faults.  I quickly interrupted him and said: “That’s not my experience of Joe and your experience is your own. I will not judge Joe by any other experience than the one I have with him.”

Michael Jackson arrived in most of our lives via ‘the box’, as we watched glued to our TV sets; we saw a very young and extraordinarily talented kid sing, dance, and warm our hearts.

Most people only knew Michael through that same box and on June 25th, 2009 it was that box that told us of his death. On July 7th, 2009 Michael appeared one final time in another box, his casket, and the world said it’s goodbyes to a man they once called the ‘King of Pop’. Michael Jackson came to us via a box and like most of us will, he also left in one.  However, it is up to each and every one of us to decide if we will keep him in ‘the box’ we were sold him in.

Michael Jackson was clearly an outstanding talented man at what he did for a living; he was not an average guy with a 9-to-5 lifestyle. But, let us not forget that even the average guy deserves to be seen through more than a single lens. Human beings are much more than the boxes we like to put them in…

We are all multifaceted beings whose many sides are impossible to see if we’re busy standing in judgment of a single facet.

There’s a good chance that even though you are reading this I don’t personally know you.  Nonetheless, how would you feel if someone judged you, put you in a box through a single facet of your life.  IE: “Oh you’re a stay at home mom, so obviously you’re a…” Or, “Oh, you’re in the banking business, obviously you’re…”  Is this kind of thinking any different than judging a person by their colour, creed, or religion?

Prejudice is prejudice.

One type of prejudice is not better or worse than another.

What prejudice is at its very roots is the inability to see a person as a whole that contains many parts.

Furthermore, prejudice is judging someone through a myopic single lens that blinds us to the beauty of who they are above and beyond that narrow view we have decided is the only representation.

There was a time when the media said Michael was a child molester and you may have heard that and agreed. After all, the evidence we the public were fed was incriminating.  But, let us also remember that at his memorial his daughter Paris said:

“I just want to say; ever since I was born, Daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine.  And I just wanted to say, I love him so much.”

My final words on this are simple: I did not know Michael Jackson. I only have my very limited experience of how I choose to have his life impact mine.

I cannot and will not judge the elephant by its tail alone.

I look forward to your feedback and comments.

Until next time live with courage, Dov…

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